Thanks for being here, it’s so important to make sure your marriage gets off to a good at start. Be sure to read part 1 if you missed it…
5 Managing your financials
How to manage finances in a marriage is a really important topic to discuss before getting married. It can cause a lot of offense if left to chance or one or both become defensive. How a couple goes about managing their finances needs to be discussed and in pre marriage counseling with a good marriage coach you can find out all the different ways couples manage it and pick the best for you. Some times couples will enter their marriage already in debt either from the past or financing the ceremony. I’ve worked with couples in my online marriage therapy that are hurt 1, 2, or even 10 years later because a partner did not disclose their debt. Your financial choices past and present will effect each other, so talking it through with an expert can help to reach agreements and align future expectations and plans.
Not being able to manage finances in marriage can cause serious tension between a couple and I can tell you as a family and marriage therapist money fights are a big contributor leading to divorce.
Counselling can help you align your financial goals, create a budget you both feel comfortable with and learn how to talk about anything concerning money so that never becomes an issue in your relationship later on.
6 Align future goals
Some couples are great at this and others avoid talking about where they want to settle, whether they want children or not, what material things they seen as a sign of success.
Just like building a house. You want the foundation to be strong not weak or constructed poorly because there was no plan. As it would then go on to compromise the rest of the structure.
While marriage is nothing at all like building a house, the principle remains the same. You don’t want to go into the marriage already on a shaky ground not sure of what your partners dreams, hopes and expectations are. Pre marriage counseling gives you the chance to discuss this and a good family and marriage therapist can help you discuss this in a way that brings you closer together.
It’s not a solid plan, as of course we are not in control of things that happen outside of us, it is more of a guide on what may support your relationship best. It’s about sharing what you want to achieve as a couple and individuals in the marriage. Thus helping strengthen your connection and avoid arguments later down the line.
7 Preventing divorce
This one is the obvious reason you would consider pre marriage counseling.
If you have been in a long-term relationship and things have been up and down for a while, it’s not a good idea to think that marriage will make that all disappear. Most find after the honeymoon is over the same issues resurface and disagreements you had prior to getting hitched continue.
This is the one reason that also shows how you can be responsible and enter a marriage wisely. Couples who have had pre-marital counselling are less likely to get divorced because they are equipped with the tools they need to combat whatever threatens their marriage.
If you can avoid half the issues that may give your relationship grief, isn’t it worth exploring in order to live a long and happy life together?
As a family and marriage therapist I hear from men and women all the time saying that they spent thousands on a wedding dress and suit they only wore once, around $30,000 plus on a wedding and $3000 on a honeymoon only to be miserable because they did not learn how to deal with their relationship issues prior to getting married.
They deeply regret not investing $1000 to $2000 in pre marriage counseling that could of saved them years of hurt, resentment and arguments.
If you’re open to considering pre-marital counselling, CLICK HEREto book your 20-minute session with me.
It’s free relationship advice and can give you the clarity you need on how to go forward.
CLICK HERE to book your free session now.
P.S If you know anyone that might benefit from this do feel free to share as I believe engaged couples need to get as much free relationship advice as they can, even if they are not going to invest in pre marriage counseling they may read this and be encouraged to talk it through.