A world-renowned expert in relationship psychology and transformation. I have been fortunate over the past ten years to help thousands of men and women across the globe to live love filled and vibrant lives through healing relationships and childhood trauma, as well as their relationship to food. In addition to co-authoring 4 international best-seller books, I have been featured on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News Network, Huffington Post and Wall Street Select.
Over the years, I have learnt that It’s widely accepted that events in our childhood can have a long-lasting impact in how we live out our life.
Our relationship with either of our parents can have a profound effect on our happiness, self-esteem and romantic relationships in adulthood. We can either repeat the same patterns, find our self in relationships that don’t serve us or we can fear commitment and avoid love and emotional attachment altogether. Emotional events in the past can also lead us to pick up addictions or addictive habits that harm us long-term.
I grew up in a turbulent childhood with a mother who was constantly either depressed or aggressive towards me both physically and emotionally. I internalised it to mean I was not good enough and bottled up my frustrations turning my anger inwards by being critical of myself.
When I left home, things improved slightly but I was still putting myself down repeatedly and soon developed other destructive behaviours as a way to cope. Things like isolating myself, over-working, over-exercising and years later drinking myself to sleep each night. I was hard to live with because I expected nothing but perfection from myself.
My healing process and helping others began at the same time. When I was 22 I had a terrible period of anxiety and depression whilst at my final year of university. I managed through various different methods and was able to free myself from it’s dark grip and when I turned 23 I started volunteering for Samaritans and emotional helplines for people feeling distressed and suicidal.
In 2007 I moved to Dubai and after an initial honeymoon period the loneliness and financial crisis happened. My anxiety once more escalated and I became dependent on alcohol to calm myself down and sleep. My behaviour around food was far from healthy and it was then that I began the healing journey to first heal myself, going on then to help others.
I didn’t start the healing courses, counselling and coaching expecting that I would be healing childhood wounds, but that is what happened and I freed myself because the more I worked on myself, the more I loved myself and learnt to let love in. The happier my life became, the healthier I felt and the richer my relationships with others became.
Since then I have spent 1000’s of hours learning as much as I could about changing the past, overcoming depression and anxiety, healing relationships and love. (You can see my credentials below)
I also struggled with my relationship to food for 20 plus years. It caused me a huge amount of pain, affected my romantic relationships and concerned others around me. In my early teens I became a compulsive eater, binge eater, basically always over-eating at night for comfort. I couldn’t stop this for many years, I used to hate myself so much that I would often cry when getting ready for a night out. Until one day my friend told me that I had to go on a diet with her, I felt like I was a huge embarassament so I started dieting and went completely the other way. I developed anorexia and bulimia symptoms. Whilst my anorexic episode lasted 2 to 3 years, my bulimia eating disorder carried on for another 17 years until I made an amazing break-through in my recovery.
I now get to live my dream life of helping others to become free of their past, to let love in and transform their relationships with others, to themselves and to food.
In fact all my dreams came true when I loved myself fully and got rid of the negative thoughts and patterns. I became a best-selling author, the relationship with my mum transformed and she is now one of my best friends and I found love.
To help others I have also created several free podcast shows to help others with their marriage, family relationships and eating habits. Search Nicola Beer in your favourite podcast app or go to the home page on this website to find the links.
Today I’m here to support you in your transformation process whether it’s from a painful past or challenging relationships so that you can have the happy and free life you deserve. Because it can be done. I’m living proof of that! and not only that I have helped 1000’s and 1000’s now do the same through my podcast shows, email support and counselling in Dubai, Abu Ahabi and Online.