Imagine spending all that valuable time, effort and money into trying to fix your marital problems, learning things like ‘how to communicate better’ only to find that it was all for nothing because your relationship is in even worse shape than it was before you started therapy.
I started marriage counselling in Dubai, Abu Dhabi and online because countless couples kept coming up to me and saying that they did not want to get a divorce but they had tried talking through their problems and it always ended in arguments or the silent treatment. Many said they then went on to see a marriage counsellor who asked them to go over all their past problems in front of each other, and they left feeling more hurt, more angry and more resentful.
You cannot save a relationship or stop divorce by:
Re-hashing out the past problems again and again - instead of this negativity you need positive and hope to restore the respect, trust and connection.
By sitting down and talking about your differences or by going over your childhood history. Of course for individual counseling that may help but no one ever saved their marriage by talking. - In stead of talking we need to create some actions to help you move forward. It's daily and weekly loving actions that make a difference. As well as working to eliminate those that are destroying the connection and communication FIRST.
By waiting for time to make things better. All time does is pass. Most couples find that things get worse over time not better. Hoping that problems will fix themselves is like watching a plant die, not giving it any water and hoping it will revive itself back to life.
How I work with couples is radically different to most marriage counselors in not only Dubai but also around the world. I focus on:
Injecting the relationship with much needed positivity and hope by working individually with each in the couple first to clear resentment and negative thoughts about the relationship.
A structured plan to help couples move forward that includes actions they can take to rebuild the connection, trust, and closeness. So that the changes last and are not short lived, action is critical.
Principles for better communication (once the connection has been re-established) and strategies for leaving the past behind. Aligning your future individual goals and dreams, so you feel like you are staying together for the right reasons.
If needed and required support to overcome common marriage problems like affairs, addictions, anger management, procrastination and cultural differences.
This is an ALTERNATIVE to outdated, traditional marriage counseling - it’s Marriage Coaching and it’s a proven system for repairing and reviving marriages.
It doesn't mean you will not have the chance to talk through the past and solve the problems...
It means I will support you individually first to identify the root of the problems without causing more damage to the relationship and then we all speak together and create new strategies to bring you back closer together...
This is for you if your Marriage Is Suffering From...
Are You Unsure On Whether You Want To Save It?
If you are stuck unsure not knowing if you want to save it or if it can be saved... you are not alone. In fact millions of people are ambivalent about whether to stay or divorce their spouse.
I hear all the time from men and women who are uncertain if their marriage can be saved. Perhaps because they caught their husband or wife cheating, or because they have not been intimate for a long time or because they no longer feel connected or attracted to their husband or wife...
If you are going through this right now, you are most probably completely drained from analyzing and evaluating every moment.
Which is damaging not only to the relationship but also to your health.
The only way to REALLY know if you can fix your marriage is to get into action.
To first share what has happened with someone objective you trust and then from that cover what would be needed to change it.
Then you are able to see if the relationship can work once you identify the steps and here stories from other couples who have successfully turned it around or parted ways.
I’ve Seen Marriages Regain Their
Life After Just About Every
Issue They Go Through...
Be It Adultery, Financial Crisis, Midlife Crisis
& Whatever Else Can Get In The Way
If this speaks to you, book your marriage connector session here:
During the FREE 30-minute call we will focus on:
Just Some Of The Things You Will Learn…
We tried to solve all of our issues on our own for a few months, but it didn't work, we kept having the same issues come up time and time again and never get anywhere. Traditional marriage counselling was pushing us further apart. At first, my husband was reluctant because he has no free time but we both knew something had to change. We spoke to Nicola and decided that her forward focused approach, email support and weekend availability was something you cannot get anywhere else. Plus the marriage counselling alternative audio program that comes with it would make it easy for us to start fixing our problems straight away. It worked for his busy schedule and was a reasonable price, especially when we considered the finanicial and emotional cost of divorce for all the family. The information about how to Protecting Your Marriage from Angry Outbursts and Angry Silences helped my husband control his anger by channelling it in different ways and also helped me to let go of past hurt for good. Things have been going great since we made the commitment to implement the actions we set out in our join session. We've become closer, laugh and chat again like we did when we first met. We really turned a corner which is good for our children to see a happy marriage rather than disconnected one "
"Nicola put me at ease from our first conversation, I felt instantly comfortable to open up about what I had done and how to rectify the situation. I was unhappy with a lot of things in my life and the relationship, but never shared them before and was surprised to find that talking helped me see things more clearly and also what I needed to do to help Susan recover. I'm not proud of what I did, I’m just thankful that Susan gave me another chance and that we are so much happier now than before."
"I was really impressed with Nicola's range of solutions to help us move forward, she helped me stop the negative inner thoughts that kept coming up and plaguing me. She also helped Ed see what he could do to best support me and managed to get him out of his depression by focusing on the relationship rather than himself. We’re so grateful for the guidance as I'm not sure how much longer I could have stayed trying on my own - it was painful."
new york valley
Before I started working with Nicola, I was extremely unhappy about my marriage and my life at home in general. The most difficult part was the lack of closeness in the marriage. We were also under financial stress, everything seemed like a pressure cooker in the house about to explode.
If I had continued down the path I was on I would have left the marriage, my family, friends, and community due to the embarrassment.
The thing about Nicola is that she is warm, kind, understanding, compassionate, and creates a safe environment to share your most personal and guarded challenges.
The privacy to have the internet counseling calls from your home or car, also were a great comfort to me. I got advice driving to and from work most of the time and she kindly emailed the notes and actions I could take to save my marriage.
My biggest insight or lesson learned during our coaching was how I can live a life by design, and instead of dragging myself down by the things that frustrate me. I started the program alone and my wife joined me a few months later, it was great to start to see changes in her.
I'd recommend Nicola to anyone who is looking to take control of their life and relationship. In the free consultation, I knew instantly she could help me. Even before that her podcasts helped me so much!"
"I was so surprised how well the strategies in the program actually worked, I read up lots before on anger, drinking and aggression and most of what I found said, you can't do anything but wait for them to want to change... but I knew if I had waited our relationship and marriage would be over. There was so much useful information given on how to create more love, motivate your spouse, anger, problem behaviours, how to handle conflict, how to make joint decisions. It was well worth the money and time I spent for me and the children. I never thought you could save a relationship on your own before, but you can. The only part that was difficult was fighting the voice in my head that kept on saying:
"Why do I have to go first', "Why is it always me", "Why should I be kind to him when he is so difficult". Nicola really helped me with that. She made me see that, that way of thinking kills the relationship and that's what we were both doing before and why we had become so cold towards each other. We were both waiting for the other to make the effort first.
Thanks Nicola, your program changed our lives"
Hi Nicola, I know I have only just started your program but I am so excited by how quickly things transformed for me. I listened to your podcast and felt the power of your simple transformation technique instantly. In fact, my partner and I are currently experiencing severe financial restraints but i just had to sign up for your program to learn more. When I committed, I knew it would be a big financial commitment but I knew I had to do it. (I never sign up for anything!) It's only been a week but my partner knows something is different and he is understandably cautious and curious. He has just left on a business trip for 8 days and I was so excited for him to go (which would have been so difficult before - my insecurity, jealousy and clinginess were three of our big issues). I knew that I would have a lovely full week to focus on me and start the audio program you gave me. Yay! He is confused and I'm sure he thinks I'm up to something... He is going with a female work colleague which would have upset me so much before but I feel peace and love. I can't control what he does and I no longer want to try. I am no longer giving into the stories that I conjure up and the nothing situations that I would usually imagine. My two tiny boys have also felt my peace and they can't stop hugging me and telling me that they love me. Bliss. Thank you, thank you , thank you - is not enough to thank you for doing the hard work to bring this truth to me and others. I want to share it with everyone. Much love - and from my heart back to yours from sunny South Africa, Debbie
"In 3 weeks we broke the mexican standoff and started engaging intimately again”
I hired Nicola Beer to help us save our marriage as the marriage counsellor we saw was nice enough but their was no real plan and she had never dealt with infidelity and recovering after an affair. As having an affair is illegal in Dubai we were scared to talk about what had happened before and after I cheated on him. But Nicola assured us of confidentiality and as soon as I booked her free call, I could tell instantly that she could help us. As she shared tools to help us move on quickly.
Nicola, talked us through how to heal after an affair, the stages of healing after an affair and how to stop the bleeding infidelity brings. She helped my husband with his insecurity and helped him change his thoughts away from constantly thinking about the affair. She also guided me on how to help him get over the cheating, with steps to rebuild trust. She made it clear there was no going back, we needed to create a new relationship, with new loving actions and make a fresh start together. Her approach was exactly the refreshing hope we had been looking for. Now we are much happier than we were before the affair, we are back sleeping in the same bed every night and never leave the house, hang up the phone or go to sleep without saying "love you"... I know that for some people that might be too much but for me it means everything. We cannot thank you enough. :)
How Others Say They Feel Now...
Nicola Beer is a Relationship Specialist, that helps people with their relationship to food, their body, romanitc and family relationships. Services include marriage coaching an alternative to marriage counselling, divorce coaching, grief counselling, anger management, healing from abuse and self-esteem boosting. Eating support includes helping men and women to have freedom from bulimia, anorexia, compulsive, comfort, binge and emotional eating. She also runs a relationship coaching certification training and business mentorship program for those that want to start or grow a healing or life coaching business. She is a US certified grief recovery specialist, counselor, life coach and hypnotherapist online or UAE & Saudi Arabia (Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Riyadh, Jeddah Khobar, Damman)
© 2018 Nicola Beer All Rights Reserved.