connected, valued, and loved?
Is it time to release, rebuild or
revive relationships in your life,
so you can thrive?
Hi, I’m Nicola Beer.
A world-renowned expert in relationship psychology and transformation.
I have been fortunate over the past ten years to help thousands of men and women across the globe to live love filled and vibrant lives through healing relationships and past pain. In addition to co-authoring 4 international best-seller books, I have been featured on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News Network, Huffington Post and Wall Street Select.
It’s widely accepted that events in our childhood can have a long-lasting impact in how we live out our life. Our relationship with either of our parents can have a profound effect on our happiness, self-esteem and romantic relationships in adulthood. Where we repeat the same patterns, find ourselves in relationships that don't serve us or find we are either excessively seeking or avoiding love and emotional attachment. As adults, our family relationships can also be a great deal of pleasure or pain. Managing family relationships well can give us the peace, freedom and happiness we deserve.
I grew up in a turbulent childhood with a mother who was constantly either depressed or aggressive towards me both physically and emotionally. I internalised this to mean I was not good enough and bottled up my frustrations turning my anger inwards by being critical of myself. This judging critical voice became such a part of me, that it led me to feel depressed, lonely and unloved. In order to try and cope with the emptiness, I used food, alcohol and workaholism to block out the pain.
Things only got worse, then 11 years ago, I turned a corner and became obsessed with healing the past and learning every tool I could to turn mine and others lives around. Now I am blessed to be living my dream life, with wonderfully rich and close relationships and freedom from the past.
Today I’m here to support you in your journey to heal, love yourself and life, as well as cultivate blissful relationships. I know what it is like to feel unloved and lonely and I know how to transform that, so you can feel like your every part of your life is just the way you want it to be.
Before I worked with Nicola I felt low, angry and betrayed. My husband had an affair with a close friend of 14 years. Some days I would feel pain in my whole body and others I felt totally numb. I couldn’t sleep as my mind was racing all night trying to put together the affair and how he could do such a thing to me. I didn’t realise at the time how little I valued myself or my happiness as I always put everyone else’s needs before my own. To cope I had turned to chocolate and sleep. I would wake up, take my children to school and then go back to bed. In between sleeping I’d eat packets of biscuits and several large chocolate bars. I didn’t care about that, I just desperately wanted to feel happy. I’d tried plenty of diets in the past and exercised, I knew what I was meant to be eating and doing, but I didn’t feel like it, so I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
My mother and husband had put me down and I use to take it. I thought that I was not worthy of love and being happy, so I put everything and everyone before myself. The affair reinforced the belief I had that despite my best efforts, I was still not good enough.
Nicola helped me to see that the suffering was a result of such low self-esteem and could not be relieved through yoga, positive thinking and a healthy lifestyle. That I needed to do deeper work to clear the painful wounds that got in my way of feeling happy and enough. Step by step Nicola supported me in rebuilding my confidence to love myself and to attract new loving relationships and friendships into my life. As well as to rediscover what makes me happy and how to design my life so that it is full of passion and purpose.
The greatest gift was being able to be comfortable in my own skin again and being a positive role model for my children. They get to see me full of joy, motivation and strength, rather than frustrated, stressed and tired.
I’d recommend Nicola to anyone who feels low about themselves and are sick and tired of doing everything for everyone else. Nicola helped me laugh again and reconnect to the woman I used to be. I wish I met her years ago.
I reached out to Nicola because I was struggling to make a relationship last and get over my obsession with weight loss. All of my relationships during the past 7 years had lasted only a few weeks or months. I’d find myself ending relationship after relationship, over the smallest things. I could no longer hide the fact that the lack of success in love was down to me, even though I wanted to be loved, I could not get close enough to anyone to be loved.
I’d sabotage it time and time again.
I booked an online free session with Nicola which was so insightful and it became clear that I had a fear of love and so I was avoiding it. “Love avoidant” I learnt was a common pattern that many people have who cannot let themselves be loved by others. My father was an alcoholic and I felt unsafe around him whenever he drank, as he was either raging or grumpy. I loved and hated him at the same time. My mother was weak and I felt let down by her, why didn’t she protect us and escape. This left a deep scar in me, I found it difficult to trust people (men especially).
Nicola equipped me with the tools to believe in myself and to trust in myself, life and others. She guided me to forgive my parents fully. I didn’t know until working with Nicola that I was still holding on to the pain of the past. I had forgiven my parents with my mind consciously but in my heart and gut I had not. We then planned new ways to be more loving towards myself as well as how to accept love from friends. Next we looked at the patterns in my romantic relationships and created some actions for me to find the love I really wanted. It worked. Since working with Nicola my life has transformed, I feel so much happier as a result of trusting myself and others.
I feel good most days and have met my dream man.
I went to Nicola because my jealousy and insecurities were damaging yet another relationship. I knew I was being controlling, possessive, and needy at times, but I could not stop myself. My wife was fed up of being monitored and questioned and was ready to walk out the door. I knew I needed to change and I had tried on my own for many years and couldn’t switch off the thoughts.
The hardest step was asking for help, but I am so glad I did. Nicola got me to see that my thoughts are not me, she gave me tools to get through difficult moments. Instead of working on the relationship, the best thing I could do for my family was to work on myself. Nicola got me feeling good about my life and choices. I stopped using alcohol and porn to escape and started being the family man I had always wanted to be. Nicola got me to see that all my life I was trying to succeed and was succeeding but saw myself as a failure. Freeing myself of that changed everything. For the first time ever I feel proud of myself.
I was lost, confused and exhausted when I first contacted Nicola. I felt like my life was not mine anymore and I was always having to please everyone. No matter what I did for my mum and husband it was never good enough. I didn’t know whether to stay or leave my marriage. All I knew was that I was empty, fed up and couldn’t continue with the status quo. I was tired of being told what to do and always having to explain myself. I wanted to be stronger, feel confident and support myself but I had no clue how to do that. I booked a VIP Virtual day with Nicola and it changed my life. I learnt how to say no to others and yes to myself. Nicola then helped me to implement the relationship boundaries and actions we set together over the following 6 weeks. As I was scared that I may be guilted into doing things I didn’t want to do and revert back to my old patterns. It’s been 6 months now and I am so much calmer, stronger and happier.
I’d recommend Nicola to anyone who is being controlled in a relationship and wants to find their inner strength again.
When my marriage ended I felt like a complete failure. It was my second marriage and I couldn’t believe that my wife wanted out without even trying. I felt angry and empty. Why was I not worth the effort of marriage counselling? Why wouldn’t she give marriage counselling a try? Why could she not tell me before how unhappy she was? I was wary of working with Nicola because even though I knew people who had got great relief from her support, I didn’t believe it would work for me. If she couldn’t fix my marriage how could she help me, I thought. After our initial call though, I realised that I was making myself miserable by constantly getting angry and running myself down. I was holding on to so much resentment and anger at myself for making bad investments that the stress and pressure of this and life was making me an angry person. Nicola helped me to let go of the anger and regret and move forward. Working with her was the best investment I have ever made. The best thing about Nicola’s programs is the unlimited email and whatsapp support that goes with it. She genuinely cares about you every step of the way and makes herself available.
I was so surprised how well the strategies in the program actually worked, I read up lots before on anger, drinking and aggression and most of what I found said, you can't do anything but wait for them to want to change... but I knew if I had waited our relationship and marriage would be over. There was so much useful information given on how to create more love, motivate your spouse, anger, problem behaviours, how to handle conflict, how to make joint decisions. It was well worth the money and time I spent for me and the children. I never thought you could save a relationship on your own before, but you can. The only part that was difficult was fighting the voice in my head that kept on saying: "Why do I have to go first', "Why is it always me", "Why should I be kind to him when he is so difficult". Nicola really helped me with that. She made me see that, that way of thinking kills the relationship and that's what we were both doing before and why we had become so cold towards each other. We were both waiting for the other to make the effort first.
Thanks Nicola, your program changed our lives
Nicola Beer is an Eating, Family and Relationship Specialist. Services include marriage coaching an alternative to marriage counselling, divorce coaching, grief counselling, anger management, healing from abuse and self-esteem boosting. Eating support includes helping men and women to have freedom from bulimia, anorexia, compulsive, comfort, binge and emotional eating. She also runs a relationship coaching certification training and business mentorship program for those that want to start or grow a healing or life coaching business. She is a US certified grief recovery specialist, counselor, life coach and hypnotherapist online or UAE & Saudi Arabia (Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Riyadh, Jeddah Khobar, Damman)
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